JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

 

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

There’s this deadly disease in town. It pierces into the mind of its victims, circulates around the brain and then kills slowly. No, it is not COVID-19 or whatever disease you might have in mind. It is called “Body shaming”

Yes, everyone has this “perfect” shape they want in their head for themselves, rendering God’s creativity useless. The fat ones want to be slim, the chubby ones want a reduced-fat in specific areas of their body and the slim ones want front and back with a flat tummy, some feel like their eyes are too big or lips are too meaty.

Factually, we all have something we do not like in our body ranging from stretch marks to bow legs, big lips, bald head, set of teeth, and the likes. So, when people remind you, it just brings a feeling of depression or dissatisfaction. 

Your Body and People’s Perception 

Some people just give you silly comments about your body and sometimes it could just be a joke. Comments like “See how big your hands are, see your stomach, you look like a skeleton, no meat in your body at all” without considering your feelings.

Some people might jokingly laugh at it and forget about it. But some others would also laugh, try to hide how ashamed they are of their body and how displeasing that comment was. For some, they go home to stare at themselves in the mirror and just try to sleep it off.

There was this day that I went to the supermarket to get me some groceries and drinks. I saw a lady pushing her cart as she selected her groceries. As she passed by me, I stylishly looked at her curves and how I wanted that shape and not the current one I have. Sincerely, I used to randomly do this, fixing my eyes on the shape of other ladies whenever I go out. 

 Do you do this too? But hey, snap out of it. This is you unconsciously body-shaming yourself. You may wonder how. Well, when you stare for long, you begin to admire what they have and how their body looks way better than yours. This gradually brings depression, making you feel less of yourself. This is more like a laid foundation, the words of other people could top up the feeling, making you feel worse.

Positive Vibes Only

If you are uncomfortable about a part of your body, and you have a friend or anyone that keeps reminding you, kindly stay away from them or give them a serious warning never to mention that to you again in their life. Yes, some people need this. 

Words are very powerful and they go a long way. In fact, words never die. Sometimes I’ll be on my own, and what someone has said to me years ago would just take a stroll in my mind. Does this happen to you too? It simply means words never die.

 This means you should always be careful about the things you say to people. Don’t be the reason someone is having suicidal thoughts, don’t be the reason someone regrets being born, don’t be the reason people hate themselves for being themselves. Of course, self-esteem has its role to play, but the truth is, when a person keeps hearing a particular word from different people, it shatters them.

Give nice comments to people, think before you talk. Add value to people, let people feel good about themselves around you. The tone of this article might seem somewhat harsh. It has to be this way and I’m sorry that I’m not sorry.

You are beautiful

Sweetheart, do you know what? Stretch marks are beautiful, birthmarks are unique, Fat legs are sweet, Big lips are cool, a big stomach isn't a disease, Small “bombom” isn't a crime, Brown eyes are cute, Short stubborn hair is cool, the nature of your teeth and gum is fine.

Can I tell you one Truth? The people who you think are perfectly shaped and “you want”, they aren't still satisfied with their shape and this chain continues.

Let me tell you something about the human mind with this illustration. When you were little what was your best colour? Pink or yellow or blue or?? Why have you now changed your best colour? Maturity has set in. The human mind is unstable and unpredictable. Tomorrow we want this and today we want that. A lot of us like to live our lives based on the opinion and judgement other people have about us. 

When you add weight, people would talk. When you lose weight, they would talk. When you become lighter in complexion, they would ask if you are bleaching, etc. So dear, you see that you need to evolve. Become your dream self, pursue your dreams, enjoy your life, be yourself. Find self-satisfaction, remind yourself of who you are.

However, watch it. Stay fit, avoid foods that are detrimental to your health. Register at the gym. Work on yourself, but accept yourself first. Be with someone that loves your shape and makes you feel good about your body.

You are beautiful and charming. Your body is someone else's dream body. If you don’t accept the totality of you, nobody would accept you. You are somebody's specification. You are perfect just the way you are. Yeah, just the way you are.

Shout out to my friends; Victoria Agbu, Abikoye Folashade, Favour Abiodun, Funmilayo Oni, Jayeola Abodunrin, Winnie Ameh and most importantly, the Holy Spirit. You all encouraged me to write this piece.

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